Rumble In The Humble

As the alternative community comes to terms with Top Mum no longer running events at the Whitby Pavilion, ugly scenes have broken out at Humble Pie & Mash, a veritable Mecca for those who don’t suffer from heartburn.

In one incident, a representative from Gothtown was witnessed enjoying a Chicken pie whilst supporters of an 80s night supped tea from a tin mug.

Humble Pie owner, Stay K’Nidney insisted that despite the squirmish, it was business as usual. Speaking to reporters outside, the master of pie stated, “If you ain’t got forty seven dogs, you ain’t comin’ in, got it?!”

News of the nine watt, coup d’état spread quickly with supporters from all sides taking to Facebook to air their views.

Posted from the lounge of a pub that organisers have long since boycotted, official WGW Cloakroom Lackey, Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim remarked, “[sic] fukin [sic] flurbim [sic] BAARGHlgy [sic] jjjjjjjjjjjghrly, I hate to ask, but could you loan me enough for a small white wine? I’d be eternally grateful.”

Meanwhile, organisers of Sexy Sunday released a disturbing pictorial statement of them with their eyes rolled back, licking a Boyzone CD cover and the caption, “Unnnnghffff”.

Stay K’Nidney was quick to quell the storm, insisting that it had been good for business, “Absinthe Promotions have placed their order into the next millennium, so I’m not complaining” the 1940s cosplayer and junk collector responded.

The local press have meanwhile devoured the story with a few pictures of asthmatic, middle aged couples in shit wigs, even shitter dresses and hired frock coats stumbling up the 199 steps.


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