Spare Story, Guv?

Following a barnstorming event at Infest, alt press journos are scrabbling for news as the main players of the un/official accidental/deliberate gathering/assembly of Goths/post punk fans at a weekend/end of week in Whitby/North Yorkshire coastal town maintain radio silence.

As gloomy hacks awaken from a fucking brilliant weekend, spent with friends and organisers who manage the seemingly simple task of arranging a fantastic festival without initiating drama or making it about themselves, they have found rumour, scandal and division in scant supply.

Respected scribe of the occult, Jim Spinicker remarked, “Shit, we’re nothing without the constant, infantile, mother fucking bickering of mother fucking Whitby movers and shakers. Shit, in ‘09, the shit wrote itself, you dig, mother fucker? The shit wrote itself, baby!” the former Black Panthers press secretary remarked.

Whilst many believe that the lack of announcements are nothing new, Spinicker added, “Shit, mother fucker.”

Following Absinthe Promotions’ ‘Tomorrow’s Ghost’ shooting their muck far beyond anything Orson Scott Card could have visualised with Gothtown acting as their Klingon Empire, alt rock correspondents are at a loss.

Spinicker went on to state, “Aside from Wom the cockroach, the capitalist’s dream of a hastily erected market of trestle tables for Goths to throw their money at and an Andrew Eldritch impersonator appearing at the Endevour on the Thursday, WGW and Top Mum, the alleged official voice of the accidental/deliberate gathering/assembly of Goths/post punk fans at a weekend/end of week in Whitby/North Yorkshire coastal town have given us little to go on.

Speaking from the lounge of a pub that organisers have long since boycotted, official WGW leech, Bloodsucker Owtfornowt responded, “WGW will come back bigger and stronger….oh, sorry…Gothtown are tops…eh, what was that? My mistake, Absinthe are gonna totally own this…I get the ensuite, yeah?”

Meanwhile, reports have emerged that Whitby resident, Aletaster Walkingboot has put an offer in on a house in Bridlington.


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